Revive

I am still here on the Ice.  I got promoted some time ago and have had my head in the Lieutenant game with little to distract my focus on the needs of the shift, the wheels of politics and trying not to be the heartless jerk pushing the mission.  Success?  perhaps in some ways.  I'm alive and alright.  I am enjoying investing in the job and would like to winter-over, which would push my return to CO until next fall.   I miss some bits of home.  I miss the lindy scene at the Merc.  I miss the Fox and Hound. I miss the students at Bear Creek and TNL.  There is a fear in the back of my mind that I shall find reintegration a bit hard as I am stoked on pushing the limits of survival and fire operations here in the Antarctic.  I sincerely want to contribute more, to which I give reason to my absence, than I can in healthy proportions commit to.  I find it funny how there is a popular trend to take black and white photos.  The scheme may produce nice contrast in the bleached environment, but I think that it is also a subconscious reminder that this adventure is fleeting and will one day, be a tale of yesterday. 

I had some recent victory in pushing important issues on to the plates of my seniors that have required a bit more attention than what has been received.  Respectively there is stress in the pushback of my arguments.  I find myself able to hold my own, yet I constantly check my doubts as to the importance of my observations.  Every shift, as I encounter conflict I grow stronger with new group dynamics, and every call call strips the rust of long neglected skill sets.

Ellie Goulding - Lights